A father, buying a doll for his little girl's birthday, was told by the saleslady: "Here's a lovely doll──you lay her down and she closes her eyes, just like a real little girl."

Said the sadly experienced father, "I guess, lady, you have never had a real little girl."

"I told my wife I would shoot any man who had flirted with her at the seaside."

"What did she say?"

"She told me to bring a machine-gun."